r h y t h m

After almost a month on the road, we have had and are still trying to establish a new rhythm as a family, and as individuals. In fact it is safe to say that we completely lost any sense of rhythm when we left our home and our normal lifestyles at the beginning of this month. And so i have been thinking about what this rhythm thing means, and the impact it has on our lives.

I have come to understand that to lose rhythm is to lose a grip on something you had previously been in sync with, to have the quality of movement that you were acquainted with interrupted… the continuous flow of life fragmented by change.

And change, whether good or bad, is inevitable.

Other words for rhythm are tempo, pattern, measure, cadence, regularity. These words smack of predictability and familiarity, and can ultimately (albeit subconsciously) provide great amounts of  reassurance. When you are ‘in a rhythm’, so to speak, it can make you feel as though you are part of a great movement… in this case the movement of daily life, whereby each one expresses themselves individually. Some loving a strict routine, others a more spontaneous way of life, like either a march or a piece of jazz respectively – each have a rhythm, one completely different from the other.

Contrary to what one may think immediately when thinking about what finding a rhythm means, it isn’t merely a list of tasks – daily things that one needs or wants to get done. I believe that a rhythm is held in the heart, and manifests both practically and emotionally in routines, traditions and familiarity. 

When any of things are disrupted, a plethora of things can be experienced; chaos, unpredictability, irregular/ erratic days, a feeling of being unsettled. In essence there is a sense of peace that is lost. When things don’t feel settled, I often experience waves of what i associate with homesickness (not because i necessarily miss home, but because there is a feeling that something is just not quite as it should be.)

Here is the set of circumstances that tipped me over into thinking about rhythm; Before we left for this year of travelling, we did a HUGE amount of research into connectivity. Not because we can’t exist without the internet, but rather because Eugene’s work relies on being able to connect when necessary. And in order to be able to sustain ourselves this year, Eugene has to continue working. We eventually found a solution – a strong router, with two antennas and international SIM cards for each country… sorted 😉 We were promised that these, when used together, would give us connection in the remotest of places. We set it up and tried it at home – all the equipment worked well and efficiently. We were then very eager to test it out in a remote area. Our first remote stop was Boegoeberg Dam, just outside of Upington, where there is no cell phone reception. Excited to give it a go, and to prove all the peoples’ promises true… we set it up. Needless to say it didn’t work, and it hasn’t worked to date in any remote setting whatsoever… can you believe it?!! 

So!!!! Based on a need not being met, one that was created by an expectation that connectivity would remain relatively constant and predictable, our rhythm was totally upturned – causing stress and a feeling of utter frustration. 

It must be said here that all deadlines were met… Eugene simply completed his work and sent it off at the nearest available location where signal could be found. And we still hope to get the connectivity issue sorted when the New Year has come and gone, and to be able to effectively use and market the products that promised us so much. But, the point is this. The stress was almost immediate (why isn’t this working? I need to meet my deadlines. What am i going to do? This is not what we signed up for. How are we going to make this year work without a certain amount of connectivity?) However! Time has worked it’s magic.. there’s been a bit of letting go and expectations have shifted. The reality of what we are doing right now has begun to settle in and the new mind set of ‘it will all work out’, has started to soak in. And it will. It will all work out – that is the decision we have made, and the rhythm we have set in our hearts. Peace has begun to pervade the spaces where tension had started to reside.

There have been many things that have corrupted our rhythm; long hours in the car, not enough place to put everything, not knowing where everything is, no fresh produce in the shops, lots and lots and lots of sand and dust, sleeping 5 people in a space barely the size of our bathroom at home, no internet (let’s face it – we all have a certain affinity with the thing), no books (or very few anyway), no air con (and it’s really hot), no friends across the road, no Pick n Pay down the road (I’m not a long-life milk fan), no family gathering at Christmas, no doggy or kitty, crazy friend or cuzzy hugs, and and and… the list goes on.

But there are a couple of things i have noticed. Firstly, things can look peaceful on the outside (i.e., a pretty campsite, an empty dirty washing bag, a neatly stacked car…), but if there is no established rhythm on the inside these things are a waste of time. It is a false calm. I think true orderliness comes when one makes a decision that these things aren’t the most important thing (I think I would go mad if I had to keep things perfect the whole time). 

Secondly. And most importantly. If there is a lack of rhythm, then connection becomes vitally important. If you allow the lack of rhythm to make you cross and irritable and moody with everyone else, then the situation is exacerbated by a terrible atmosphere. An atmosphere of positivity (even if that positivity is an act of faith!) and togetherness acts as a support for those times of change, when things feel so all over the place.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that through supporting one another (letting go of expectations of those around us, being gracious, speaking gently and kindly… even if you don’t feel like it) while establishing a new tempo can absolutely bring calm and serenity. So even when things feel heavily disordered, let’s learn to take a big deep breath and in that moment ask ourselves if we are allowing the chaos to shake the atmosphere of our own hearts and therefore the atmosphere around us.

I hope I can say that it is or that it will gradually becoming a daily state of mind for us as a family.

DISCLAIMER: I’m not trying to say that we have it sorted (farrrrrr from it). It is most definitely a process that we find ourselves plonked in the middle of.                Happy Days ;)!  

ANOTHER DISCLAIMER: I am fully aware that for some people (some of whom are my extremely closest friends, Eugene included) orderliness is extremely important for any sense of well-being. I fully get it, and hope that those dear friends of mine understand what it is that I’m trying to say! X